Boom Time for Kinky Brits in Hospital

Please don’t jump the gun before we’ve even got down to business. Of course boom time isn’t a euphemism for taking a trip to pound town, practising the sacred art of the dance with no underpants or anything related to the word job. Boom time is merely referring to the delightful time of joy and productivity such people are on the brink of experiencing. I don’t really know why or even how these things work. I wouldn’t have thought that patients, even the kinkily minded ones would have much business to be getting on with whilst in hospital beyond recovering from whatever’s wrong with you.

Maybe the facts have been ever so slightly twisted here by total accident. Perhaps we’re supposed to be considering that for whatever reason the number of sickies with particular inclinations is going to go up. It could have something or other to do with a general decrease in inhibition among the general British populace (hey, I’m not saying such a situation is remotely likely. All I’m trying to do is have a crack at supposing every minutely possible scenario until I stumble on the correct one by pure coincidence). Aliens could be beaming lascivious thoughts into individual’s minds while their vulnerable thanks to the administration of anaesthetic.

Who knows? But whatever happens to be occurring in the ranks of the more adventurous patients in the healthcare system it’s probably none of my business. Or anyone else’s. Unless I’m directly involved. And even then I’m going to have to predict a definite lack of boom for all participants. Maybe we ought to start having a genuine and serious think about something else. Anything else. I really need you to suggest a topic because no one needs to have my current thoughts in their head. Oh very dear indeed.

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