Tories Take Lead With Risk of Alzheimer’s

It’s fair to say that it’s been well documented (in the media no less and when do they ever take a shaky statistic and twist it round until it’s no longer remotely true and positively screaming for mercy? Exactly, never) that a rather large proportion of the population experience a political shift towards the right as they get older. Perhaps it’s simply the case that folk shed the ideals they held so dear during their youth as they accumulate stuff that might well get taxed. Or maybe something’s going on upstairs in brain city. That must be it, it’s definitely got nothing to do with selfishness or a faintly Scrooge like mentality that the filthy poor must never be allowed to get their filthy paws on the swag you’ve worked so hard to earn.
With a mere one hundred days to go until the election (hadn’t you heard? It’s so terribly exciting isn’t it? I wonder what embarrassingly low percentage of the electorate will bother to turn out to pop an x next to the candidate they’ve decided they despise the least), the Tories have decided to go with a slightly different strategy. Having identified a new subset of voters, they’re going to go after them hard. I’m not entirely sure whether or not they’ve taken into consideration whether or not those sufficiently far gone with Alzheimer’s are actually still allowed to vote or are even capable.
Whatever goes down in May or whenever it is, at least the Conservatives have decided to innovate (my skin is ever so slightly crawling at the fact that I’m giving them praise. What’s happened to me? Is Ed Milliband really so unappealing that it’s come to this? Or has my journalistic integrity finally kicked in and allowed me rise above the partisan nature of politics to the point where I am truly unbiased? Probably not). I doubt very much it’ll bring them even the most marginal of victories but perhaps they’ve decided that now is the time to lark about because they fancy the sneering jeering role of the opposition for a little while and see how Labour like it.

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