Energy Bills Must Be Stripped Of Human Rights

Oh they’ve simply had it far too good for far too long. They’re petted and cosseted to the point of being neatly swaddled in swathes of bubble wrap. Why is their wellbeing placed so very far above our own as paying customers who regularly stump up our hard earned pennies without even the merest whisper of complaint? But clearly this is what the practice of privatisation has brought us. It’s frighteningly obvious really how likely it was all along that we would end up like this, with bills that have more rights than the entirety of the third world put together.

So what is there that can be done? The title of this post may or may not have already given it away. The silly things must be stripped of their ill gotten human rights. This totally isn’t draconian or overly harsh or whatever. They’re not strictly or actually human after all. We need to make things better for people rather than the bills. Yes this is a ridiculous stand to make and I’m only doing it because I’ll imminently have to pay a greater share of incoming payments due. Of course they don’t have anything even beginning to resemble human rights but just imagine what might happen if they did.

If bills got human rights there would be absolutely no stopping them. They would grow and inflate and get horrifyingly corpulent. It would be next to impossible for decent and hard working folk afford the basic amenities of light and heat and a goodly amount of internet. So they must strip and do it quickly. Or maybe slower, they might earn a little extra if they did. We could make it rain for our own satisfaction. This really has taken something of a deeply odd turn. I would apologise but I doubt very much it would make anything too significant of a difference.

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