Mock Islam and Expect the Coldest Freeze In Years, Says Pope

Well they do say that the guy has a direct line to God’s right ear or left shoulder or whatever. No wonder he likes to indulge in the odd grandiose claim or five. Maybe he’s telling what he thinks of as the truth. Perhaps he’s just trying to feel that little bit bigger as he stands there in his special Pope breeches (they’re definitely a thing. Look them up, they’ll absolutely be on Wikipedia and if they aren’t then the world’s been lying to you for far too long).

Anyway, it just so happens to turn out that the big man up there floating ineffably in the clouds and whatnot has very firm opinions about things going down here on the ground. While he may not approve, in any way shape or form, of terrorism for any reason whatsoever, he’s far from afraid to break out his very own brand of judgemental wrath when it comes to perceived slights. So because certain cartoonists have been more than a little inflammatory in their publications and certain other people got entirely the wrong end of the stick and were terribly uppity about it, he feels that he really ought to do something or other about it.

You’ve read the Bible at least in very small part, you’ve got to admit that when it comes to this sort of thing, the guy’s got form. It’s not just down to that though. It’s been an entirely far too mild a winter season and we British have got to have something or other to natter about over the water cooler and heaven knows there’s precious little television worth conversing about. Therefore, we are due for something of a colossal shake up in the precipitation, or rather temperature, department. Get ready to break out the mittens. And possibly kittens (the joy will make you warmer).

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