Labour Plan To Borrow Internet Spying Powers

Where else was poor old Wi-Fi Man supposed to find work? It’s mildly possible that he might just have had the entrepreneurial chutzpah to privately contract himself out as some sort of hotspot but where on earth is the long term job satisfaction in that? Not to mention that there’s next to no capacity for career progression (funnily enough, I think of these things now in a way I never did before…). So I do believe you’ll find that the grubby business of poking through the electronic correspondence of decidedly suspect persons rather entirely falls on him. I’m sure he doesn’t mind too overly though, he has such an uncanny knack for it. It’s almost as if whoever was in charge of handing out the random superpowers actually knew what they were doing.

And now we come to Labour. On the eve of election, the shadowy party of opposition have decided to plumb the depths of the most secret of services in order to pluck this dedicated civil servant out of obscurity. If such a thing can be managed, I very much imagine they’d like to win him over to their cause. But they’re finding, much to their chagrin, that Wi-Fi man is utterly impartial. How could people possibly be at all able to sleep remotely soundly in their beds knowing that such a man could be bought with little more than promises?

What do Labour want with such ill gotten gains anyway? Why are they suddenly so very interested in grotty viewing histories (not mine, it’s practically gleaming. It might just be helped out by the fact that I don’t have especially unrestricted access to the internet right now) and perfectly frivolous messages? One can only shudder ever so slightly at the intentions behind such a move, no matter how well meaning it might have originally been.


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