Osborne Gives Mate Ibuprofen

At this time of year it’s important to bear our friends in mind. It can be difficult. There are those who get all in a flap in regards to presents; they haven’t the slightest clue as to what to purchase for the important figures in their lives, what oh what can they buy to make everyone else happy? There are others who are decidedly behind the times when it comes to holiday preparation. They refuse to put in orders for the biggest, most delicious turkey in the land. Not one single string of tinsel do they have. Or something. We all know that the holidays are a fraught time for all.

What with all the crippling stress and that, it’s not surprising that people get themselves into a right state. Not me of course. I’m incredibly cool and absolutely haven’t been warned by my brother not to ‘poke the bear’ after trying to get a present decision made. But sometimes someone descends into downright agony, physical significant pain. It was a certain pal of dear George’s that got himself into that much of a state. He was rocking in the corner of the room, tearing out clumps of hair and brandishing reams of wrapping paper at anyone who tried to help him out.

But valiant George Osborne thrust himself forth (oh not like that. They’re totally just mates. Good friends and nothing more). He shook two magic pills into the palm of his hand. Soothingly, he assured his dear associate that they would sort just about everything out. They would relax him, pep him up in a productive way and give him all manner of excellent gift ideas that would delight all those around him. Obviously George was lying right through his teeth and the white tablets were mere ibuprofen but you can’t have everything in life. He was doing his best. Honest.


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