It’s a universally accepted fact that trying to approach anywhere remotely near the vicinity of a school within the confines of drop off or pick up time is the closest that many of the general public will get to entering a war zone. And if you think that’s something of an exaggeration then give it a go. Just protect your face or you might find that your eyes have been clawed out by an overzealous parent. But the thing is that Mr and Mrs Bloggs can hardly bear the idea that their precious and precociously pudgy little Algernon or Patricia (apologies if either of those happens to be what you’re called and you don’t enjoy the sentiment of this message. I just don’t know anyone by either of those names and they really seemed to fit with what I was thinking) might have to walk even as much as a few more paces than they really have to.
However, to combat this escalation of concerned but absolutely terrible parking, new rules might just have to be put in place. Draconian measures that will be judiciously and strenuously enforced will include ensuring that only permit holders (namely members of staff and possibly local residents if they don’t go for broke, take the mick and abuse the carefully crafted system).
Of course, ever concerned about the mere possibility of even the slightest backlash, provisions are being put in place for transport alternatives. The perfectly sensible thing to do would be to put on more reliable and frequent bus services, as this would also provide more jobs and that. However, flashier options are bound to get a lot more attention and therefore clearly quell far more fears. That is why a whole fleet of remotely controlled mobility scooters are due to be rolled out so that worried parents can ferry their pint sized darlings to school from the comfort of their own homes and pretend it’s a video game to boot.