V is for Vitality

Yesterday I proved beyond all shadow of a doubt that I definitely understand absolutely everything there is to be known about being a woman. That’s not even remotely up for debate. What I’m reluctant to admit is that I might just be not quite one hundred per cent up on what’s happening with the fellas. I suppose that fact shouldn’t be so very surprising. After all, I am slightly lacking in the broad shoulders and deep majestic tones of a chap and my feet are far too winsome and dainty to fit into the majority of their shoes (not that I’ve gone round trying them on or anything in a haphazard attempt at fact checking).

One thing I have learnt is that size doesn’t actually matter (I don’t think it does anyway but feel free to disagree with me, write in with your intensely fascinating anecdotes and the world will be all the way behind me when it comes to paying due attention to them) but a lot of time is devoted to it. Size directly correlates to potency, efficacy, ability to put up shelves, earning potential and obviously vitality. I know full well and for damn sure that you can forget everything you thought you knew about palmistry because one’s destiny is a far cry away from being in your hands.

What can you do if you’re not entirely happy with your lot in life? What if you find yourself feeling that you don’t really measure up to expectations? Well, for starters you have simply got to accept that there are some things you can change and others you just can’t. If you’re still not totally satisfied then I’ve been led to believe that there are places on the internet you can go to for pills and pumps and creams that will take out a chunk of your savings but won’t actually work. I’m sure you’ll feel better about your situation though. Shrunken ruler anyone?


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