Oh absolutely everyone’s a natural born performer, positively dripping with throbbingly innate and raw talent. Every last one of them’s in dire need of a stage, an audience and when a golden opportunity presents itself all they need, nay must, do is grab it with both hands because really, when is another chance to showcase their genius going to crop up again? Thoughts like these must have been coursing intently and intensely through the thought palaces of a certain group of girls earlier today. Before them, around them and, most crucially, within mind melting earshot was a train carriage crammed full of unsuspecting passengers. That’s when the caterwauling began.
Now I’m not saying that there’s something inherently wrong with hopelessly out of key renditions of half remembered S Club 7 songs (that is for others to confirm for you. Those who can sing or believe themselves to be worthy of the mantle of X factor judgeship). Then again, it’s rather difficult to recognise any merit in such a display if it’s accompanied by far too much giggling and it’s completely impossible to get away from it.
However, it’s more than worth remembering that in every tragedy there must be some form of opportunity. We joined together as an entire train carriage to do something truly spectacular. We proved just how British we as a public can be and said absolutely nothing. There was tutting, the odd snide comment about screeching cats and whatnot but no one told the tone deaf morons to shut quite definitely up. I’m sure that I can speak for all of us when I say that we were very proud indeed of our exemplary conduct and others should feel free to follow our hugely wonderful example. That’s what it really is to be a citizen of this country, to sit by and seethe while annoying yet totally stoppable things happen.