O is for Oliver the Fish Dog

Some canines live for the chase, the insatiable urge to hunt down others. For sport or for their tasty flesh, who can tell? Other pooches love to run and play, to chase their tails and attempt to catch frisbees in their mouths. Many a pup will be simply thrilled provided they have a ball to play with (those of you whose minds wandered into neutering territory, you should be ashamed of your thoroughly dirty bend of mind. It is not at all telling that I thought there might be some of you out there, I merely have to learn to anticipate your deviant notions so as to disallow you from corrupting the rest of the group. Yes I do).

But Oliver is different. Yes he sprints around, dashes after squirrels and fetches things when asked but those callings are a far cry away from his real reason for being. Oliver is a swimmer. Whether is a bout of breaststroke across the ocean, an afternoon spent doing a fabulous dolphin impression in a lake or a joyful doggy paddle in the Thames, when he’s in the water, Oliver couldn’t be happier. So it may have looked odd or even comical as Oliver swam along the river with his lead attached to his owner strolling along the bank but Oliver couldn’t give a damn as to what anyone else might think of him.

In the telepathic interview he and I conducted during our brief encounter, Oliver told me of his greatest ambition. He wants to cross the channel using nothing but his little doggy paws for propulsion. And to have a best selling brand of dog biscuits named after him. However, he is willing to admit that the latter goal is merely to impress the ladies. It’s the swimming based dream that consumes his soul and spurs him on to glory. Or he might think that he’s an otter, it’s hard to tell sometimes with these imaginary psychic connections.


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