M is for Morale Booster

There are times in life when we all need a bit of cheering up. Of course, there are plenty of other instances when you can’t help wishing that the so called well meaning people would go very far away, stop trying to improve your mood and leave you to your grumpy misery. Luckily, this isn’t one of those occasions or today’s entry would be thoroughly depressing. See? I gave you a teeny tiny smidgeon of hope and you immediately felt your soul lifting towards the heavens as if it had been granted Red Bull induced wings. Or you stopped reading. Whatever, we don’t need those wasters now do we?

What can I say to make your day a little brighter? How can I compensate for the fact that you hate your job with a fiery and all consuming passion? Which soothing balm at my disposal will alleviate the pain of that terrible date you’re doing your very best to forget? How can I perk you up from the low you’re experiencing thanks to having checked your sad and pitiful bank balance? I could come out with a few choice horribly hearty quips. You know the sort of thing, along the lines of the fact that you’ve still got your health and what goes down must come up. But you’d see straight through those lies wouldn’t you, incredibly clever thing that you are?

I might offer to lightly maim someone for you. Your irritating colleague? That deceptive creep who conned you into a supposedly romantic encounter? Empty promises like that are bound to make you feel a bit better. Just remember that things do improve. They also decline and stay resolutely the same. Often simultaneously. But you should remember that today’s problems probably won’t seem so awful tomorrow. Especially if you don’t keep an eye out for that bus speeding towards your legs. Your fragile, highly breakable legs.

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