Or will some positive karma magically wing its way to me? I’ve been a very good little girl I’ll have you know. I kind of accidentally managed to shoplift the other day. It was even more impressive than the last situation that involved me and shoplifting, albeit it one where I was one step removed from it (honest. Although we must never forget that aiding and abetting is nine tenths of the law or something along those lines). My housemate and I simply wandered out of M&S (two mentions in two days, it’s like I’m angling for some sort of sponsorship or something) brandishing a T shirt she’d forgotten to pay for. Made possible by the lack of a security gate (if that is indeed what it’s called. I believe I referred to it last time as the beepy things).
This was totally different though. I was flitting around Next. Having decided to buy an item of jewellery (a rare and solemn occasion for me) I thought I might add to my basket in a fashion that the managers of Sainsbury’s would thoroughly approve of. I didn’t but that’s entirely irrelevant at the end of the day. I considered buying some gloves, nice ones with lining. But because I’m cheap and didn’t fancy them enough I put them back.
Or at least I thought I did. They somehow managed to hook themselves onto my headphones (clearly one of the hazards of trying to avoid audio boredom while shopping). I didn’t even realise until I was nearly in H&M. For a cunning and evil moment I really did consider keeping them. However, because I am such a sweet and compliant lamb I did in fact return them (honest. I really did. Do you actually think I’d talk about them in the first place if I hadn’t. Although that would be an excellent way of sticking it to the evil corporate entity of Next wouldn’t it? Another time. Possibly). I hope they appreciate that eight pounds I didn’t inadvertently steal.