N is for New World

It’s a new day, an exciting day crammed right up to the brim with probabilities that were complete impossibilities not so very long ago. Things will never be the same as they used to be and in a more meaningful manner than the normal state of affairs (in that we can’t go back to the past, we’re decomposing just by sitting around and atoms whizzing about as they so often do – I’m totally down with physics and that – make alterations to stuff all the time). I’ve finally caved to the pressures of modern life and now own a smartphone. I didn’t buy it but it’s mine (so very shiny), someone lovely gave it to me (I didn’t have to mug them or anything).

Of course it’s worth mentioning that it doesn’t work. Yet. I had to schlep all the way into Worcester (of all places) for someone to open the thing up and stick a tiny sim card into it. And I’ve signed up for a contract. It’s like I’ve finally joined the modern world several years late, I made the very nice sales girl (they’re probably called something a little more dynamic like merchandise optimisers or bamboozlers of the general public. Maybe I’m being unfair to the massive corporate machine that is now getting more off me per month than they used to) explain some almost certainly very simple concepts to me.

So while I wait for the pretty and clever new phone to be unlocked in order for me to be able to actually use it (I know, I have terribly high standards when it comes to my devices) I’m left with my two year old flip phone that is suddenly refusing to get any signal at the moment (they’ve done things with my account and I don’t understand life any more. I’m completely on track right? Right?). Wish me well with that whole communications thing. Please?


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