J is for Jubilation

Quick question before we get cracking on this one: do you remember that book I wrote that I won’t shut up about? No? How convenient, allow me to refresh your memory. I wrote a book, it’s excellent and available here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Guide-Song-Title-Challenge-ebook/dp/B00L8YGSTO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409320065&sr=8-1&keywords=ros+martin (subtle subtext: BUY IT).

Why do I feel the need to bring this up? Well, apart from my completely failed stab at marketing (yes, I saw you roll your eyes), I have other things to say (come on, when don’t I?). You see, according to an email Amazon kindly sent me, I was supposed to get my very first slice of royalties yesterday. Given that I have never received a single penny for anything I’ve written thus far (oh I don’t want your pity. Although, if you did feel compelled to go and purchase said word based masterpiece – I’m quoting directly from the entirely hypothetical review that no one’s written. I’m going to have to be careful, this post is beginning to go somewhere self pitying – then I won’t complain. Promise), it’s a really rather exciting prospect.

I’m hardly expecting vast riches to suddenly be mine (that’s going to be the next book), my initial estimate was somewhere in the region of a grand total of sixty pence. Now I’m over twenty four hours after when the money was supposed to come in and, greed fuelled stone heart that I am, I’m rather tired of waiting to see how many Mars Bars I can get with my earnings.

It’s not just about the money (the sweet sweet digital currency I can’t wait to get my greasy mitts on. Hmm, maybe I should have cleaned them off before I started typing. I don’t want my keyboard to get sticky), apart from my truly abysmal rank in the Kindle bestsellers list (I don’t want to tell you what it is, I really don’t), this is my only indication of how many units have sold. Fingers crossed for it being more than three.

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