G is for Glass Peacock

On Amazon for the low low price of a trifling mere $360,000 and no pennies you can buy a glass peacock. Oh look at you all excited, it’s simply adorable. And there’s free shipping and everything. I know, your life must be complete now that you know you could spend an inordinate amount of dollars on a six foot tall glass statue that will do nothing for you but decorate your home. It doesn’t even have the capability to make porridge, my grandfather’s old golden standard of purchase worthiness.

This peacock is a crystal masterpiece, I’m really rather surprised that the sellers in their most surely infinite wisdom didn’t decide that they ought to charge a little more for it. After all, four hundred thousand dollars is a much nicer rounder number than three hundred and sixty thousand. It would make for simpler figures for the tax receipts. In fact, why not go the whole hog and make it a cool even half a million? Do they even have VAT in America because I’m fairly certain that if a whopping glass monstrosity resembling a big blue bird with a shiny green tail doesn’t count as a luxury product then nothing does.

I’m not sure that anyone has even gone to the extravagance of shelling out for this thing. The only review online reduces this fantabulous product to little more than a cheap penis metaphor. Who knows? Maybe it was worth it just to be able to refer to the fancy bird as his brand new ‘cock. It’s hardly as if three hundred and sixty thousand dollars goes particularly far nowadays. It won’t buy you the abode worthy of housing the glass peacock, I doubt very much it’s enough for a trip into space, it’s probably not even enough to buy you one measly executive jet. Really, you’d be a fool not to get the peacock, it’s quite the investment.

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2 thoughts on “G is for Glass Peacock

  1. Do you have a link to it? I’m trying to track down the source of an antique peacock, and while I assume this wasn’t an antique, I’m curious.

    1. Unfortunately no, I think it was on Amazon. I wasn’t really trying to say ‘hey, this is a cool thing you should buy’…

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